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SpaceCactus goes "High Quaility" on YouTube Due to the overwhelming demand of underground cult fans of the band, many SpaceCactus videos on YouTube are viewable in glorious "High Quality". All of the bands video efforts are available free on the video sharing site "YouTube.com". To view in high quality just click "View in High Quality under the video window. Check out their latest effort below...
Greg Lime heading to Vegas to see Edward Van Halen
Greg Lime is traveling with bandmates Taco and an undisclosed friend to Las Vegas to witness the last venue Van Halen plays on their current tour with Roth. The show is freaking off the hook and reviews of the tour are all thumbs up! This is the first time David Lee Roth has taken the stage with Eddie in 22 years.
"Jason Vegas Indoctrinated into band! Nearly "blacked-out", Jason Vegas, joined forces with Spacecactus funk brothas Taco and Lime during a recording studio session lasting into the wee hours of the night. Greg Lime was quoted saying "we can neither confirm or deny these allegations" A CNN exclusive covered the hot news. See the special CNN report here.
Greg Lime and Jason Vegas of SpaceCactus
"Agent X" Released! Despite brutal opposition from several hate groups, "Agent X" (Greg Lime's free album) has been posted for immediate download!!! Free Music downloads violate every form of corporate greed and have nearly cost Lime three dollars. "Agent X" represents an instrumental assault with Heavy Metal axes and incorporates techniques used by the masters of Rock such as, EVH, Pink Floyd, Dave Taco, DarkFly and Lincoln Park. It is described by critics as "a rare insight into the mind of a true freak" In later publications Lime was quoted as saying, " As far as anyone knows, I am not a true freak." Drunk Man Sues SpaceCactus Jarid Smythe (age 31) had retained attorneys looking for "big money" from the folks over at spacecactus.com. Apparently Jarid stumbled into the UFO Photo Contest section of this website. Ignoring warnings, Mr. Smythe entered said section and was terrified by the photos. Attorneys for the plaintiff explained he nearly crapped his paints while dry heaving then raked the computer monitor off his desk trying to rid the images from permanently burning into his brain. SpaceCactus lawyers made quick work of the case siting Smythes blind-drunkeness was the catalyst for the carnage at his parents Los Angeles home. The G. Lime Interview! Holy Moly, Lime is out of hiding and provides a first time ever glimpse into the Hard Rock world of the SpaceCactus Master mind Greg Lime. See photos with NO sunglasses, rumored pics of Lime's trophy wife Countess Gloria Van Renier! Hear all about Dave Taco and others in this short and candid interview with "The Man". Windows Media Player only.
Help Wanted! Spacecactus is now hiring intern and executive assistants to assist the funk brothers on tour! Applicant's should be able to work in a team environment and communicate well with others. Candidates for this position should be "thick-skinned" and work well under fast paced and abusive conditions. Those applying must not be dismayed by harsh and provocative language, virtual debauchery, disturbing behavior or loud "rock" music. Applicants are required to cope with hanis acts of violence as well as attacks resulting in possible hospitalization. Prospective employees will sign a waiver not to "fight back" if pushed or struck repeatedly by members of management. Pay is capped at $5.35 per hour. Due to overwhelming response your application may be discarded. Please make all applications including resume at this sites guest book. More Below! Collage Dean Sues Spacecactus, Ozzy Osborne In a courtroom scene reminiscent of the Judas Priest case where music was blamed on suicidal behavior, Judge Areden Garston presided over the case of youth allegedly driven to insanity. Dean Mortimer Stanton of Montevallo State University in Alabama stated on record "he had never seen the likes". Reports of loud music and lude behavior over the span of a weekend in March of 04 stunned jury members during the duration of the case. Spacecactus lawyers jealously defended the 1st amendment right for the band. Several dorm rooms were damaged and some tree limbs were torn from there trunks on the collage grounds. A key witness in the trial stated "so what's the big deal?" The case was thrown out of court by Judge Garston on the grounds that neither a collage dean or professor may proclaim insane behavior upon that of a student or other person without prior medical experience. Lime or Taco could not be reached for comment. More Below!!
Ape Escapes Zoo, Captured at Liquor Store In possibly unrelated news, local Zoo officials in San Antonio discovered the 350lbs ape caged in the "Kings of the Jungle" exhibit went missing late last week. "Bozo" the ape has been known to pummel kids with dung as well as display obscene body gyrations at female zoo patrons but never attempted escape according to zoo officials. When police arrived on the scene at a nearby liquor store, "Bozo" had ingested several cases of Jack Daniel's and was staggering around behind the store making his way to a Greyhound Bus station just across the street. "The consequences could have been worse" according the Sergeant Jeremiah Smith of the SPD. Fortunately, "Bozo" became unconscious and was transported back to the zoo's infirmary where a half-empty bottle of Grand Mariner had to be forcibly pried from the apes right hand.
05' Bronco Test Drive...on MARS! Lime and Taco, rockers from the Spacecactus Band, took Ford's newest Rock-Beast for a tour of the challenging Marsion surface last month. After a minor intake modification the vehicle was ready for the test. Taco at the wheel took the unit through several ravines and gullies to test the advanced suspension. Lime fired a shotgun into the fender, door and window to see what would happen. Both expressed extreme disbelief at how tough the truck was. Looks like Ford did it again! More Below!!
Taco "Bitch-Slaps" Wild Boar Dave Taco, riff-mizer for the Spacecactus Cybor Band, is reported to be in "good" condition after a hunting accident in Alaska. During a routine day of hunting in the wilderness north of Fairbanks Alaska, Taco's hunting party (consisting of a bunch of hot babes and a Gourmet Chef) ran across a pack of Wild Boar. Firing several shots in the air to run the pack off Taco noticed one of the Bore looking back at him with an attitude. This may have been the "Boss" hog of the pack. Taco herded the Babes back into a rented Hum-Vee and proceeded to jack the Boar's ass with the butt-end of a 30-aught-6 rifle. As the Bore reared its head in defiance, it happened... Dave, at close range, was forced to open-palm the beast sending a snout full of Bore snot and stank through the air! Dazed and shocked, the hog staggered off into the wilderness leaning to the right. No member of the party sustained injury and the beast was not seen again. Later that same week, a disturbance at an elite downtown Fairbanks hotel became out-of-hand according to hotel management. Although Taco was questioned by local police over the pool/golfcart incident that occurred during the mayhem, no charges were filed.
Future "Mars Cowboy" Solo album Greg Lime recently sent Mars Cowboy into post-production at the famed Cyber Rock mastering facilities. The all Intrumental album features an Rhythm and Blues set of ten tunes inspired by the Greg Lime Estate on planet Mars owned by the Cowboy himself. Dave Taco says" its a departure from his normal savage rock attack and is relaxing to listen to while driving or fishing". When questioned by phone Lime was asked if this was the end of "Spacecactus". Lime became so heated that he damaged the telephone he was speaking on and was cut off. When contacted later, a heavily sedated Lime explained that Spacecactus has already started pre-production on their next album "Spacecactus II" due out in 2004.
Mars Photo Nightmare The Mars rover has sent back a graphic image that has the NASA community deeply disturbed. Apparently the Space Rover landed on Martian property owned by Greg Lime of Spacecactus. NASA officials have tried to cover up the story by reporting to the public that the photo is a cheap hoax. Our sources report that the rover landing vehicle smashed into an amp and row of decorative planters and damaged three golf clubs. No civil suit has been filed as Mr. Lime has got enough money to buy 10 new guitar amps if he wants.
New Studio Ready! The first photo of the new studio surfaced and was subsequently used on the Band's debut album cover after a prototype cover was ditched due to legal controversy over an image of an automobile. You can still see the original image in question on the CD itself. When questioned by phone, Greg Lime said he liked the old cover "10 times better but digs this one two". Several beta-test prototypes were released to the public and are destined to be collectors items for the deranged.
More news below!!! CNN Reports on the Funk Brothas! CNN reporter Fredrick Berrys has discovered the Spacecactus phenomena and reports indicate the onset of world panic in biblical proportions. Either that or everyone is just going to rock their tale off. Click here to see the actual report by CNN. Hot News Below
Goat Psychic In Deep $*@#! Apparently the famous "Goat Psychic" hired by Spacecactus.com is being scrutinized by upper management for abusive behavior. Herbert Growse, has attacked several patrons in the last few weeks with verbal abuse and idol Internet threats. These entries had been removed almost immediately but others have been posted since. One man wrote in, "When will I stop living with my Mother?" The Goat Master's response was so brutal and offensive we cannot repeat it here. Heavily fined, Growse threatened to quit unless management "Gets up out of his ass" end quote. The funk Brother's Lime and Taco could not be reached for comment. Hot News Below
Sample Lester Funk out-take (click head) Gag'n Dogs!
The Gag'n Dog Show Band makes the news this month with their latest gig. The Dogs feature unheard of talent that ranges from great to God-like. Featured in the"Rockin Friends of Spacecactus" area, the K-9 Rockers lay it down with a photo session and subsequent evidence of a public appearance by Greg Lime of Spacecactus! Reports indicate Lime has gigged several times with the Gag'n Dogs under the alias "The Mexican".
The Goat Psychic Goes Live! After heated negotiations, Spacecactus.com has signed The Goat Psychic. Thats right, the infamous Goat Master has arrived and he is online! The Goat Psychic realized his talent growing up on a small Texas goat farm in the early thirties. He was able to read the minds of goats and foresee their future. As he became an adult he applied this same talent to people and they dubbed him "The Goat Psychic". Now for the first time on the world wide web you may contact him and ask about the future or anything else! All for free thanks to Spacecactus.com.
"Gimme A Pill" in post production Rumors of the next album's hit single "Gimme A Pill" have surfaced. An inside source says Greg Lime has approved the tracks for post production. This means we will see it on the album upon release. Lime says the tune was originally conceived at the Rock Palace and re-recorded at the Funk Dome last month and is just plain HEAVY! Here is a sample...
Cactus in Court! The famous Spacecactus cactus has been summoned to court over alleged copyright infringement. Apparently the cactus is in question due to similarities with a children's show character. No comment from Greg Lime on the litigation, but Dave Taco was not so reserved as he phoned in to Cyber Rock and stated "they are full of crap" The Spacecactus law team is prepared for a long and dirty fight as this has already caused an uproar with many fans on both sides of the fence. See exhibit "A" here Morrison Hoax Exposed!
Recent entries in the Rock Book and Rap Chamber indicated contact from the late great Jim Morrison of the Doors fame. Spacecactus News has new evidence the entries were the actually those of long time rocker John Godwin. Greg Lime met with him personally and he told Lime that it would only get worse if he did not put Daniel Godwin (his son) in the Friends of Spacecactus section of this site. Lime indicated he liked Daniel's jams and would ask Spacecactus.com to add him to the growing lists of artist in the new Rock'n Friends of Spacecactus section of the site. Godwin promised never to sign in as Jim Morrison again unless blatantly provoked. Ciambra UFO Photo Scrutinized The FBI and other Federal agencies are in an uproar over the latest submission to the UFO/Alien Photo contest. Apparently this one is no joke. Shortly after this photo was taken, several cows and a parking meter were taken in broad daylight adjacent to a building-sight witnessed by gawking construction workers. One man actually crapped his pants. Several others were treated for shock at a local hospital and later released. Witnesses say it looked like a shoe someone through up in the air for a fake ufo photo then out of the blue cows were fly'n up into the belly of this monster spacecraft. We were lucky it was not any of us one man said. When reached for comment Ciambra was quoted as sceaming "WHO'S THE KING NOW" several times prior to hanging up.
Camaro SS Owner's Association Smokin! See the Cactus 1 at the Camaro SS Owner's Association Gallery. It is in Taco's Garage next to Dave's 1963 Chevy Fleetside. Just go here and then check out the "Member's Gallery" (left menu). Greg Lime is near the end of the list. Enjoy!
Smokin New Videos! Spacecactus is now captured on video! Reports indicate an SS scene as well as Lime and Taco clips. Check em out here! These are insane videos of insane people so view at your own risk. Do not operate heavy machinery while viewing!
Road Manager Lester Funk Arrives Lester Funk, Road and Space Manager for Spacecactus arrived Wednesday night at the Rock Palace. Greeted by Lime and Taco in Chevyland, an insane photo session ensued. Later that evening the boys rocked upstairs in the Palace Studio. Lester has managed the Funk Brothas since their escape in 42'. He is reserved and soft-spoken but knows precisely how to rock and rock hard. See the entire selection of the Lester Funk/Spacecactus photo-shoot in the Lester Funk Area!
Taco Demands Return to Metal! "Down in the Sticks" is in still in pre-production for the next album and although pleased with the jam Dave Taco demands a return to Heavy Metal for the next album."We did it before on Aliens and we'll do it again on this album too". Dave says Greg Lime is a clinically insane musical genius that can play and produce almost anything and has to be occasionally guided back to the savage hard rock that made Moe Funk and Spacecactus what is is today. As for Lime, he doesn't seem to mind the Heavy direction Taco lays out and says, "I just like to jam Baby""
Spacecactus back in studio! Dave Taco of Spacecactus phoned in at 12:14 am Saturday night screaming unrecognizable phrases of broken English, slang and animal like noises.(actual call)The phone was then snatched away by Greg Lime himself! That's right, the two are back together and recording reports Lime. Lime went on to say the tune they are working on is an epic tale of a young man down in the bayou looking for the love of his life. Just as we got the name of the song, "Down in the Sticks", Taco snatched the phone back and roared "its ROCKIN baby!" Lime says the lead is smokin and last week's vicious Texas lobster attack has not effected his axe slinging capabilities. This album is not even due out for a year. Remember, you heard it here first!
Lobster Attack! Greg Lime last seen in Texas showed up semi conscious drenched in salt water at a Corpus Christi hospital suffering from a series of lobster bites to the neck and shoulder area. Reports indicate Lime was at a local seafood restaurant when the mayhem ensued. Witnesses said they saw Lime arguing with a tank of lobsters normally used by patrons to choose their dinners. One witness explained "he was irritating them". She then described a scene straight out of Hades! In a flurry of saltwater and red lobsters, three of the beasts attached themselves to Lime's upper body. In the pandemonium to remove the clamping crustaceans, a series of windows and light fixtures were damaged. Two other restaurant employees were also bitten in the attack. One man remarked,"I will never eat seafood again". We spoke with Lime via phone and received several comments about his band Spacecactus back in the studio but nothing about the attack itself.
2002 SS Finally Arrives! The long awaited 2002 Camaro Z/28 Super Sport was shipped to the Cyber Rock headquarters early last Tuesday! Dave Taco was on the verge of drinking heavily due to delays in the manufacturing process. Mr. Lime the owner, had remained on medication through out the ordeal and suffered to a less degree. It sports 345 horsepower and all the badness a true Chevrolet product could possibly produce. After a detail session and small party she hit the road. Greg Lime is reported missing along with the vehicle and was last seen in the Texas desert pursued by several State Troopers. Taco reports these claims are false and misleading. In touch with Lime via cell-phone, he assures all is well and that the truth is, Lime is actually pursuing them.
Release of Album Eminent The long awaited release of Spacecactus' "Aliens Among Us" is got the go ahead from the US department of Defense. Earlier indication of mass hysteria were slightly over estimated and government officials state that the damage would be no greater than say, Roth and Haggar touring with the Micheal Anthoney and the Van Halen brothers. A P.O. Box is being set up as you read this and deliveries will begin in just a few weeks!
Taco bruises hand! Former Moe Funk axe slinger and rhythm master for Spacecactus was reported to have injured his hand in a car washing accident. Reports indicated the Rocker was washing his Mustang when a garden hose went array. The martial arts expert instinctively attacked the hose and subsequent faucet tearing the unit from the exterior wall. All though no hospitalization was required, Dave said he did not want to experience anything like that ever again. |
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Jarid Smythe
